5 Reasons You Should Elope (And the #1 Reason Not To)
As a photographer who photographs elopements, I'm always wondering WHY many couples make the decision to elope and skip the traditional wedding. The reasons to elope are pretty much endless but here are a few of my favorites!
Before we get to the adventure, let's chat about what an "elopement' truly is. Eloping used to mean running off to Vegas on weekend and getting hitched by Elvis in the Little White Chapple on a whim. Thankfully, that definition has changed a lot over the years and most "elopements" are more intimate weddings. They're not your spur of the moment events that are unplanned and just happen after too many drinks. They're more the perfect opportunity to say your vows to one another (often with ZERO guests!) They are planned and focus on the things that REALLY matter to the two of you.
So what are the best reasons to elope and the #1 reason not to?
1. A Big Wedding Just Isn't Your Thing
This is possibly the reason I hear most often. It just doesn't feel like you. It's a really good one too. If you're a believer in all the wedding industry hype you should have your DREAM WEDDING ALL PLANNED OUT by the time you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But for a lot of my couples, that's just not them. While some may just love the big party others cringe at the thought. Maybe you don't like being the center of attention or you don't want to get all dolled up. For a lot of my couples, planning a big wedding feels more like something you're SUPPOSED to do. You do it for EVERYONE ELSE instead of yourself. But isn't this supposed to be your day? Then the realization hits them. Instead of putting on a show they choose to enjoy the day in a much more intimate way.
2. Big Traditional Weddings are EXPENSIVE.
In 2018 the average cost of a wedding was over $44,000 $30,000. Let that sink in for a moment.
$30,000 is a hefty down payment on a house. Or a year-long trip around the world. Or a year of college tuition.
And having watched so many couples plan big weddings, I’d bet that that average is very much skewed by the couples who are having VERY low key events in inexpensive places. I’d bet that weddings with 100s of guests at a fancy venue with killer food, an open bar, a live band, and all the bells and whistles cost way more than that.
I’m not here to judge how anyone spends their money (at all!). If a big, fancy wedding is what you've always dreamt of? By all means, go for it!! But if it's not really what you want...consider WHAT YOU WOULD DO with an extra ten, twenty, or even fifty THOUSAND DOLLARS. The possibilities are endless.
3. Eloping allows you to FOCUS on what speaks to YOU
The beauty of not spending so much on a BIG WEDDING is that you can use your money to splurge on the things that are truly important to you. Perhaps it's a destination or a particular dress, or maybe it's hiring your photographer (hi!) that you thought was out of your budget when you had to feed 200 guests. Planning that wedding for 10K with food and entertainment for the whole evening is nearly an impossible task. Planning a dream ELOPEMENT somewhere EPIC for 10K - no problem. You have way fewer vendors to pay (often I'm the only vendor - think about that for a second). Now you'll have the extra money to splurge on those you really care about.
4. Weddings produce a lot of trash.
Here are some numbers that really hit home. The average wedding in the U.S. produces 400-600 lbs of trash. Multiply that by the 2.3 million weddings that happen each year and you end up with … wait for it … over 1 BILLION TONS of garbage being added to the landfill. From everyone having an expensive, one-day party (according to Botanical Paperworks). Sure, an elopement isn’t entirely without its impact on the environment but even if you fly off to the other side of the planet you’re probably STILL having way, way less of an impact. That’s huge!
5. It's way easier to plan, even abroad.
If you’ve ever thought of having a destination wedding but don’t feel like you can invite all those people to travel around the world with you for your wedding, if it's just the two of you (and maybe a handful of family and friends) it is often a lot easier. The logistics are also WAY more simple. The legalities of getting married in a foreign country can be challenging and I always encourage my couples to do the legal legwork at home (i.e. go to your local courthouse) and make what you do at your wedding purely ceremonial (which doesn’t make it ANY less special!). Not having to jump through all those hoops in a foreign country will make things infinitely easier. The more people you add and the more your day becomes a “real” wedding and the harder it all gets. So find a beautiful spot in nature (need some ideas anywhere in the world? I can help!) and say your vows just the two of you to make life a lot easier.
Without further adieu, the #1 reason not to.
I feel like after everything I've just said, there's still one point I need to touch on. ELOPING ISN'T FOR EVERYONE. Elopements have become very trendy over the past few years and for good reason. I believe they are an EPIC way to get married! I'm all about it. However, I do not believe you need to elope simply because that's what all the cool kids are doing. If ever since you were little you've been dreaming of a big wedding, go for it! Perhaps you want to do something intimate and elopement style but invite only a few friends and family along GO FOR IT! You really only get one shot at this whole "getting married" thing so make sure YOU are doing what YOU want and not what others expect you to do. And HEY if it's round #2 for you, the intimate wedding or elopement style might just be your jam because you've done the big wedding and now you crave something so much more personal. Enjoy your day whichever route you choose.
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